Personal Problems and Dealing with ADHD: My Journey

Attempting to hang on to my insanity

This month marks one year since I left my job to carve my own path. Let me tell you, it hasn’t been easy! On the surface, things seem good—I just finished my first book and am diving into self-publishing. But here’s the kicker: self-publishing demands that you nail that first month, especially on Amazon. With a tight budget and my fears creeping in, I ended up feeling like a total failure.

“I should’ve done this!” “I should’ve done that!” These thoughts crowd my brain like an annoying tenant I just want to kick out! Thanks to my ADHD, I wake up with a million things I want to tackle. Over the past few weeks, that overwhelming urge has been so strong that I’ve struggled to get anything done. It’s bizarre! On days when I manage to zone in and take action, I actually get more work done. But it’s like there’s this on-and-off switch in my head that I’m desperately trying to manage.

Losing a Friend

As if all this wasn’t enough, I’m also dealing with the heart-wrenching situation of a close friend going missing. This is someone I’ve known since I was 14. We lived together, cried together, and even promised to grow old and travel the world together. We called each other sisters and soulmates because we just clicked on a deeper level.

For the past two months, she hasn’t responded to any of my messages or calls. Texts don’t seem to go through either. I reached out to our mutual friends, and they couldn’t connect with her either. It’s been incredibly tough. I’ve been grieving her absence and worrying about her well-being.

Honestly, I debated whether to share this, but the truth is, situations like this happen every day. We shouldn’t turn a blind eye. My friend could have been kidnapped, and I feel utterly helpless. If anyone else is going through something similar, I found a great resource to reach out for help here. It’s a site called Interpol.

Then the Brain Fog Arrived

After traveling, releasing my book, and worrying about my friend, I hit a wall. I just shut down. All I could manage was binge-watching TV in my room. The rainy, grey weather didn’t help either; it made me want to snuggle up and be lazy.

I still feel a bit lost, like I’m wandering in a fog. But you know what? Writing about it is the best and most healing thing I can do. If my words can help someone else in a similar situation, that’s all I could ask for!

My Purpose

Recently, someone asked me, “Why do you create art?” There are many reasons, but the main one is to express my emotions and hopefully connect and inspire others in the process. I don’t want to sugarcoat my life. I’m human (even if I sometimes feel like an alien)! I go through phases that suck, and that’s completely normal. I also have moments that feel absolutely amazing and wonderful!

Where I Am Right Now

I think I’m slowly emerging from the fog while allowing myself to rest. It’s a lot of conditioning I’m trying to break free from. We should all take a pause in life when we need it, no matter what! I want to stress how important it is to rest before diving into something new. Listening to my intuition is a constant learning process, but I hope to grow from it and inspire others along the way.

Embracing the Journey

Life is a wild ride, isn’t it? Some days, I feel like I’m soaring, while other days, I’m just trying to keep my head above water. But that’s okay! It’s all part of the journey. I’m learning to embrace the ups and downs, the chaos and the calm.

So, if you’re out there feeling overwhelmed, know that you’re not alone! We’re all in this together, navigating the twists and turns of life. Let’s keep pushing forward, supporting each other, and creating art that speaks to our souls!

Remember, it’s okay to take a break, to feel lost, and to seek help. We’re all human, and we’re all just trying to figure it out!