New perspectives from a funeral
- Ari
- 3 days ago
- 5 min read
And thoughts on life after death
This past week I went to a funeral in the UK in a small quaint town called Henley-en-Thames. It was a small funeral with about 30 people and to be honest it’s been a while since I last went to one.
Remembering my grandmas life and her funeral
My last funeral was my grandmother's funeral in 2019 where I got to speak of her life and mention how much she meant to me. (I wonder what she’s thinking now that I’ve written a book dedicated to her)
Anyways my grandmas funeral was pretty happy overall, it was a celebration of her life and who she was and how she affected the people around her. She never had a big job or made a lot of money in her life. She was just a happy, caring person who was always curious about the world and is such a strong inspiration in my life still to this day. I'm so happy I actually made a video (below) of me interviewing her before she passed away and I am so grateful to have this now.
My recent emotional breakdowns
Back to the present moment of my life feeling as if it’s falling apart with no clue on which direction to take. I began to start giving up or telling myself maybe I just have really big pipe dreams and I need to accept I may never get it.
It was a painful thought but also in a sense somewhat relieving.
I just launched my first ever children’s book “A World Within” and was just feeling like I somewhat failed because I wasn’t able to get many sales or attention on it so the child in me felt so much frustration with myself.
A funeral full of love and memories
Back to the recent funeral I attended, now I didn’t know this person very well but I did meet her once and heard a few stories about her. It was nice to hear about her life, her personality, her interest in art, music and poetry. She didn’t work either, she was a housewife and was loved very much by her friends and family.
One thing I’ve always noticed about the funerals I’ve been to is that no one ever speaks about their job or success. They speak about how the person has inspired them to become the person they are today. They mention the funny stories that bring their character to life including the mistakes and adventures.
Then I remembered that’s what truly matters, it’s how you made other people feel
How are you making other people feel?
The next day when I woke up in my cozy bed to beautiful snow falling, I really began thinking
“how do I make other people feel?”
“What would they say about me?”
“Could I be doing more for my close friends, family, or even strangers that cross my path?”
Overall I would say I’m a very nice person but I tend to keep to myself. I somewhat live in my head and after spending a whole year working on a children’s book by myself I got used to spending more time alone. No meetings, or business stuff to think about. Just my book, the story and getting it out into the world.
But now that this chapter is ending I know I’ll need to socialize more. Talk about my book and my story in person. Meet people, sign books, and really get deep about my purpose with people face to face.
The reason I did choose to write this book was not only to heal myself but to also help anyone going through grief. That is the impact I want to leave on this world. To help people spiritually and mentally through my art. Sometimes I get stuck in the ecotistical side of it all checking numbers, sales, comparing myself, questioning if I’ll ever get to a place where I can actually feel proud of myself.
What “A World Within” is about
My book is about a young girl who looses her grandma and doesn’t know how to deal with the grief. In the end she realizes it was always the love that connected them and even though she is not with her in person she is with her in spirit watching over her.
Another huge realization
Before heading back to Lisbon I gave my book to a few close friends that went to the funeral also. They got to read it and one person said it was “too sad” another person said “it was beautifully done and was well written” another said “it was very well illustrated and the story was very heartfelt”. I was actually really happy to hear that it helped people go through emotions even if it can be hard sometimes, it truly felt right.
Since finishing my book I have been bouncing around many ideas and next steps. The first one was I would get into freelance as a social media designer and help out with marketing since I have over 10 years of experience doing it with successful companies in America but my heart wasn’t fully there.
I want to start making money as an artist which has been another difficult thing to grasp. It’s like my head is telling me to do marketing, branding, social media because there is lots of work out there and tons of companies that need it.
But my heart wants to write more children’s books with unique touching stories that heal people in some way.
Anyways after giving the books as gifts they jokingly said “We get a first edition signed book!” or “I’ll remember this once you become a big author” and to be honest I have no idea what will happen in the future but imagining myself as a well known children’s book author just made my heart flutter.
I don’t really care if I’m a great social media designer or marketer to be honest. I mean it would stroke my ego but the truth is I want to heal people through my art.
It’s so scary to think about the future because I know this path that I’m choosing is difficult with many many rejections ahead and as a sensitive person I know I will feel every mistake and rejection to my core but I don’t want to regret anything.
No one knows how much time we have on this planet and I don’t want to waste it doing something that doesn’t fuel my soul. I know what path I must take now and I don’t want to do it stressed out. I want to enjoy the journey wherever it takes me.
Everyone's gotta start somewhere and we have to start embracing all of the mistakes and lessons because that is just part of life.
Anyways I just hope this also makes you think about what mark you want to leave behind. How you want other people to think of you when your gone. It’s not something we ponder often but it’s something we should because we all have a purpose no matter how small it is just remember who you are and what you represent.
Anyways I’ll leave you with this quote by banksy
“They say you die twice. Once when you stop breathing, and again when your name is spoken for the last time.” -Banksy
With Love,
Ari
