I made the crazy decision to head back home to Hawaii for a full month—to be with friends and family, spend time in nature, and figure out my next steps in life. I had no idea if I would feel miserable, lonely, or just homesick for Europe, but something inside me told me to go. So I listened.
Week 1: Coming Home to Myself
The first week honestly flew by. I landed and immediately met up with friends, making some new ones along the way. There’s something truly special about being with people you’ve known for over half your life (15+ years). It feels like coming home—being surrounded by those who love you unconditionally, no matter what.
No matter how much life changes, you know they’ll always be there. And when we hang out, we’re still us. Of course, we’ve grown and gained new experiences, but I believe that same inner core—the essence of who we are—remains. Being back with them, I felt like a kid again, like a part of me had been waiting to be rediscovered.
Seeing my dogs again was incredibly heartwarming, especially my favorite, Honey. Before moving to Europe, she was my constant companion—my quarantine buddy. We slept together at night, she curled up in my lap while I worked, and we took evening walks together. She was my beacon of hope during some of my hardest days. Hugging her again felt like reuniting with a soul sister—she radiates pure love and happiness.
It was so nice to be with my mom, my doggies, and long time friends!
Week 2: Celebrating My Mom’s 10-Year Wedding Anniversary
The main reason I came back—after nearly two years away—was to celebrate my mom’s 10-year wedding anniversary on January 1st. They chose that date so they’d never forget (which, honestly, is pretty genius).
I helped my mom put together goody bags, made sure everything was organized, and got to be part of such a special milestone.
The celebration itself was so healing. I saw family, reconnected with old friends, and just soaked up the love and warmth of it all. The event was a reminder that the connections we share with people are the most important part of life. My heart was full.
My Moms 10 year Wedding Anniversary!
Weeks 3 & 4: Getting a Stomach Flu & Finding
Solace in Nature
A few days after the event, my mom’s husband started vomiting every hour for a full day. By 11 PM, we decided to take him to the emergency room—he couldn’t keep anything down and was severely dehydrated. We stayed there until 4 AM, when the doctors confirmed he had the Norovirus, one of the main viruses going around.
I assumed I’d be fine—I’m generally pretty healthy. But, boy, was I wrong. A few days later, my mom caught it. That’s when I knew it was probably only a matter of time before I got sick too. Sure enough, a few days later, it hit me. I was lucky not to get it as badly as my mom, who could barely eat for ten days, but since I was already thin, losing my appetite meant I started shedding weight fast. At my lightest, I was 105 lbs at 5’10”, which was honestly scary.
During this time, I spent a lot of time outside, soaking up the sun and grounding myself in nature. I saw a few friends here and there, but mostly, I was alone—just me, the ocean, and the mountains.
One of the most unforgettable moments of this trip was hiking Ka’au Crater alone. I had done this hike at least six times before, both solo and with friends, so I wasn’t too worried. I was still recovering, barely eating, but something inside me needed to be in nature.
That hike was pure magic. It healed me in ways I can’t even describe. The best part? I had no service. I was completely present. No distractions, no noise—just me and the island. The hike itself took six hours—challenging, with intense rope climbs, uphill stretches, and so much mud. But that’s part of the adventure, right? I spent a good 30 minutes just sitting at the top, taking in the view, feeling so peaceful and grounded. I knew in that moment I would remember this forever.
Another incredible day was driving around the island, stopping at beaches near Wailua, and then doing the Crouching Lion hike. It’s short—only 20–30 minutes—but steep. The climb to the top is intense, but the view? Breathtaking. It was the perfect finale to end my trip.
Lessons Learned &
My Next Steps
I didn’t come to Hawaii just to see friends and be in nature—I came to figure out what’s next for me.
And I realized: I need to finish the children’s book I started during the pandemic.
I know this next chapter of my life won’t be easy. I’ll face challenges, I won’t be making money for a while, and I’ll have to push myself in ways I never have before. But I left Hawaii with a clear vision and a healed heart.
If you ever feel lost, the best thing you can do is go home—wherever that may be. Sit with yourself. Be still. The answers are already within you.
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