My Inner Artist is Feral, and The Artist’s Way is Trying to House-Train Her

Feeling like I was on the verge of creative self-destruction, I had no choice but to face myself—so I cracked open The Artist’s Way and dove into Week One

My trying to get out of my own way

What sparked this need to heal my creative self (again)

There I was—halfway through illustrating my children’s book, feeling proud, accomplished, and genuinely excited. I was doing the thing I’ve always dreamed of doing. But then, something shifted.

The joy started slipping through my fingers. Every brushstroke felt heavy. Every line felt like a slow, painful extraction—like art had turned into a chore my body resented.

Why do I feel this way? I kept asking myself. I’m living the creative life I always wanted—so why does it suddenly feel like pulling teeth?

I spiraled. I devoured self-help books, trying to untangle the knots in my brain—chasing meaning through the fog of burnout, darkness, and a sprinkle of nihilism. But nothing stuck. Nothing helped.

Then I remembered—over a year ago, I had started The Artist’s Way (well… half of it. I made it to Week 6 😅). But even getting halfway through helped unblock something major in me. I remember feeling light, joyful, creative, and free. And I knew I needed to do something drastic to get back to that place.

So I bought The Artist’s Way again—and this time, I went all in and grabbed The Artist’s Way Toolkit too. I looked at myself in the mirror (okay not really, but emotionally) and said:I am f%&@ing doing this again—and I’m making it to the end.This is a creative emergency. Something had to change.

I spent the week before starting just reading through the toolkit. It’s a short, powerful guide that explains the purpose behind the core practices: morning pages, artist dates, solo walks, asking for guidance. Julia goes deep into the “why” of it all, weaving in real-life stories from other artists who’ve used these tools to unblock themselves. Honestly, if you want a better grasp of what these practices are meant to do, the toolkit is a must-read.

Once I felt prepped and emotionally braced for impact, I told a couple of close friends—two creatives who also felt stuck. We started a tiny accountability group chat, just the three of us, to keep it intimate and honest. We’d check in weekly, share our experiences, and support each other through the process.

And just like that, I officially started Week One.

Process shot of my work

What I learned from week 1 of doing the morning pages

For all twelve weeks of The Artist’s Way, you commit to doing your morning pages every single day—three pages of unfiltered, stream-of-consciousness journaling first thing in the morning. Julia Cameron insists on mornings because your mind is more open and pliable then—whereas at night, you’re more likely to just rehash your day. And honestly? That checks out. I felt clearer, less filtered, more raw.

I’m not gonna lie though… the morning pages hit hard.

It was a rollercoaster of pain, resistance, and emotional detox. Page after page of internal screaming. I started noticing how vicious my inner voice really is. Stuff like:"You're not doing enough.""Your art isn’t good.""You're too slow.""Who says you're even on the right path?"

It was jarring—like eavesdropping on my own subconscious bully. I knew I’d been feeling heavy and angry lately, but I didn’t realize just how mean I’d been to myself on a daily basis.

To be honest, I actually started the morning pages about a week before officially diving into Week One—just to ease myself in. So now it’s been almost two weeks of daily journaling, and I’d say… about 65% of it has been pure chaos. Emotional, angry, spiraling chaos. The kind that makes you pause mid-sentence like, “Wow… am I okay?” 😅

Yesterday’s entry was probably one of the messiest and most negative pages yet. Just a flood of doubt, insecurity, and self-criticism. But today? Today was gentle. Hopeful, even. And it reminded me of something I had forgotten: this is part of the process.

The point isn’t to only write beautiful, empowered thoughts. It’s to let my body release whatever it’s holding—rage, fear, joy, grief, boredom, nonsense, all of it. Even when it sucks. Even when it’s exhausting. The fact that I’m even hearing my artist self again… means I’m listening. And that’s a damn good sign.

Doing some drawings after going to the museum

Answering Week One Prompts & Learning More About My Creative Wounds

Another core part of The Artist’s Way—aside from morning pages and artist dates—is working through a series of weekly prompts. Each week centers around a theme, and Week One is all about recovering a sense of safety in your creative life. And let me tell you: it’s not just cute journaling prompts and affirmations. It's therapy.

These questions made me really sit with the parts of myself I usually try to ignore—especially the ones that are afraid of being seen or judged.

Some of the prompts included:

• Who are your creative bullies?

• Who are your creative champions?

• Write a letter in your own defense.

• List affirmations like “I am a brilliant and talented artist”—then notice how your body reacts.

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Let’s just say… my nervous system did not love it at first. 😬

When I tried to say things like “I am a creative force” or “My art deserves to be seen,” I instantly heard the voice of my inner critic saying, “Yeah, right.” It was like my subconscious had a snarky little troll just waiting to roll its eyes and shut me down. And that was the point.

Julia Cameron encourages you to watch what happens when you speak kind truths to yourself—because those reactions tell you exactly where the pain is.

Seeing a rainbow as a sign

Writing a letter in my own defense felt surprisingly powerful. Like I was finally standing up to all the inner and outer voices that ever made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. I even cried a little while writing it (okay… a lot).

Naming my creative bullies was also eye-opening. Some were obvious—past teachers or experiences that humiliated me. Others were more subtle: cultural pressures, comparison spirals, even the perfectionism I wear like armor.

But on the flip side, naming my creative champions? That felt like opening the windows and letting sunlight pour in. I remembered the people who always supported my art, even when I couldn’t see the value in it myself. That list gave me the strength to keep going.

I didn’t go through every single prompt in full detail, but overall, they were such valuable tools to help me understand myself a little more—especially the parts of me that have been quietly sabotaging my creativity.

Some of the exercises felt deeply personal, like writing a letter in my own defense or identifying who my creative bullies and champions are. Others didn’t fully apply to me, and that’s okay too. Not everything will hit, but the point is to try. To explore. To gently poke around and see where your resistance lives.

The prompts are designed to help you trace your doubts back to their source—not to shame yourself, but to actually meet those wounds with awareness. Even just noticing which affirmations made me cringe told me a lot about the stories I’ve been telling myself.

It’s not about getting it all “right”—it’s about being willing to look.

🎬 The Last (and Surprisingly Easiest) Part: Artist Dates

The final pillar of The Artist’s Way is the Artist Date—a weekly solo adventure where you take your inner artist out to play. The only rules? You must go alone, and it should be something new or creatively nourishing. Think: visiting a museum, painting in the park, singing, exploring a bookstore—whatever lights you up. For some people, this can be the hardest part. But for me? Honestly, this one felt the most natural. I’ve done a lot of solo traveling in the past, so doing things alone has never really intimidated me. In fact, it’s something I deeply enjoy. Even though I’m comfortable with solitude, I realized something important: I haven’t actually been doing new things lately. Not since starting my book. Creating my children’s book has taken over everything. It’s what I think about when I wake up, when I go to bed, and pretty much every second in between. And if I’m not working on it? I feel guilty. I feel behind. I feel stressed.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped journaling—something I had done every single day for over three years. Even just a few sentences a day used to ground me… and I let that go. I also haven’t been going out, seeing friends, or giving myself space to live. And that’s not sustainable. Because being an artist isn’t just about making things—it’s about experiencing life. It's about filling your creative well, and I’ve been running on empty.

So for my Week One Artist Date, I wanted to reconnect with a version of myself I’ve missed: the one who creates just for joy. I decided to make a YouTube video—something I haven’t done in years. Back when I was traveling, I used to film and edit videos just for fun, and I loved every second of it. Putting this little video together—choosing music, editing clips, shaping a mood—reminded me of how much I love storytelling through film. It felt so good to create without pressure, just to play again. You can watch my Week One Artist Date video below if you choose 🎥✨

This experience reminded me: I can’t just create in isolation. I have to live, too. And going forward, I want to make more time for new experiences, play, and connection—not just for my mental health, but because that’s what makes me a better artist.

A Short Recap of My Very Long, Emotionally Messy Week One

Week One of The Artist’s Way cracked me open in ways I didn’t expect. I started this journey after hitting a creative wall halfway through illustrating my children’s book—feeling lost, exhausted, and disconnected from the joy I once had. Morning pages became a mirror, showing me how cruel my inner voice had become, while the weekly prompts helped me uncover where that pain was coming from. I named my creative bullies, honored my creative champions, and faced the resistance that shows up when I try to affirm my worth as an artist. I didn’t expect it to be so emotional, but it was also deeply clarifying.

The easiest and most joyful part was my artist date—something I used to love and hadn’t done in years. I made a video for fun, just like I did when I was solo traveling, and it reminded me that art isn’t just about what you produce—it’s about how you live. I realized I’ve been so consumed by my book that I stopped experiencing life, and that has to change. This first week reminded me that healing my creativity means making space to feel, explore, and be human again.